- Sit down
- Reach feet
- Breathe
They aren't kidding when they say that the baby competes for space with your internal organs. I can still paint my own toenails, but only if I hold my breath as I paint each one, sitting upright in between finishing each nail in order to take a breathing break. It's kind of like painting your toenails underwater. Except not even a snorkel would help me now.
I can still breathe and reach my feet if I'm standing (say in the shower), but standing doesn't provide enough stability for precision toenail painting.
This is one of several things on the list of "wow, I still have three months to go--I wonder what this will be like at the end." Of course, at the end it will be autumn and no longer sandal weather, and I can just wear shoes and socks and call it a day.
6 comments:
Sorry Julieanna - I hate to burst your bubble, but imagine putting on socks and shoes in a month!!!! I found that flip-flops were my best friend for a while...
Don't forget that you have a HUSBAND and this is ALL his fault. Start NOW to remind him at every opportunity! Lay on the guilt. Make him put on your shoes! Make him paint your toe nails! He must be penitent.
Suck the joy from his life in preparation for the future. Woe is he.
Agreed, let Geoff do the painting and go for the flip flops. Don't waist a great pair of socks on puffy, oversized, hot feet.
pay someone else to give you a pedicure!
I thought of the pay-someone-else option, but it interferes with my regimen of being both cheap and lazy. (Too lazy to get a pedicure? Stepford wives have nothin' on me!)
The have-Geoff-paint option had never occurred to me, though, and I'm impressed with everyone's confidence in Geoff's painting skills. And Geoff was surprisingly willing, so we may try that one, just for a laugh.
If we get to the point where he has to put on my socks and shoes (I'll stay in denial about that possibility for a while longer) I'll get him ready for shoeing a toddler by making my ankle as limp as a jellyfish when he puts on my socks, and developing a keen interest in whatever is directly behind me, twisting from side to side to look over my shoulders, whenever he puts on my shoes.
Geoff never told you about his time as an indentured servant to a Vietnamese nail salon proprieter?
Geoff had to sleep in the basement behind a rusty water heater and ate nothing but nail clippings and toe cheese for a year.
Long story, but Geoff can never go back to Tampa, FL.
--Oscar
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